Now I understand why everyone was telling me not to date a co-worker. It ends up making things more complicated than they should be. It adds even more things to the relationship to be worried about.
In the beginning, the only worry we really had about seeing eachother and working together was with our other co-workers. MC is notorious for gossip, bad gossip at that. Whether its even remotely true or not, news spreads quickly, but it lingers on forever. We figured sooner or later people were going to start talking about us and it really didn't take people long. After a while, people started going up to Tom, asking him if everything was true or not. For some reason no one really comes to me about it. We've pretty much denied the whole thing so far..although now we don't deny or confirm it, we just let it slide. A few months later, its still what people like to talk about. A co-worker brought it to my attention that any time the two of us walk into the breakroom together, the breakroom goes silent and everyone sort of smirks and winks at each other while watching us. Its weird...I don't get why people have to be so concerned about whats going on between Tom and I.
So theres that...Its been fairly easy to deal with so far, but who knows what'll happen.
But then theres this other thing, another issue that gets in the way. This is more of an issue I have with working with him that I need to get over. Lets just say it makes things pretty difficult for me because he has the job I want. He has the job I've wanted for months and months...and still have yet to get it. The job just sort of fell in his lap, he never really asked to be put over there. He didn't even want to be put on commission and now he's loving it.
Jealous? Of course I am. That part doesn't really have anything to do with the fact that I'm with him, but it does make me feel bad that I can't stand him at work because of it. I hate how smug he gets when he checks his numbers and warranties. I hate how he complains about having bad days in terms of sales when its still twice as much (if not more) than what I do in a day. I hate how he complains about all that yet has never seen paychecks as bad as mine. I hate how he's become buddy buddy with the managers because he's the top seller and "an example to us all"
Before Tom was put on commission, occassionally he'd throw something my way. At the time, it didn't really matter because he wasn't making any money off the sale, but I would. These days, like I said, he could be doing two, three, four, even five times as much in sales as am, and its still not good enough for him. He still has to stand over my shoulder, wondering what I'm "poaching" from peripherals this time. Forget him ever sending anything my way any more, even though one printer or one set of spearkers wouldn't matter to him, but could make all the difference to me. At least I have other people looking out for me, though. Its nice to know I have someone to go to when I need a little help back on my feet if I take a big hit in returns or even if my sales are a little low for the day. At least I have that.
When I think about it, I just can't help but say fuck that. Fuck that. I'm trying so hard not to be bitter about it....but he has the job I've wanted for so long yet he still finds things to complain about. He still has to complain about his "bad days" even though every day in peripherals is a good day compared to any day in general sales. Today was the roughest day yet for me...it was so tough not to just tell him to fuck off with his 8 warranties and ignore him the rest of the day. Why am I like this????