One more reason, one more excuse. Every time I ask, I always get a different answer. Its never the same answer. Someone else has something to say.
Last week, Tom dumped some incredibly bad news on me that I wasn't expecting. Up until last week, I had great plans for the summer. I thought we'd be able to do things, like go to the beach, have a picnic, take day trips, whatever. I also thought that this summer, since the kid will be staying with Tom on his days off, I'd get a chance to get to know the kid a little better. Ok, so maybe I didn't really want to get to know the kid any better, but I wanted to see Tom with the kid. Once again I'm with someone who lives in two different worlds: one with me, one without me.
It just so happens that Tom was the only one comfortable with the idea. And so, there go all of my plans for the summer. At the time the bad news came, Tom wasn't even going to tell me. He was just going to wait for the time to come where he had to stay with the kid and I couldn't come alone. Nice way to do it, don't you think? I wasn't really given a complete answer at the time all of this was dropped on me...and at the time, I don't think it really would have mattered much what was said after that, I was hysterical.
So, now that I've had time to settle down (A bit, it still upsets me to no end), I've started asking a few questions. Like why for starters. I've asked this question a few times and each time I've gotten a different answer for it. The first time I asked, it was because the kid wasn't comfortable with it. Not that he's uncomfortable with me, but he still hasn't adjusted to the fact that his parents are no longer together. Of course. Then it was because she didn't like the idea. She still has it in her head that I'm trying to replace her all together. Nice try, but no. And then the all mysterious 'they' say its not a good idea for me to form a bond with the kid. Who ever 'they' are, they seem to think that I'm not going to be around for very long and its not a good idea for the kid to know about me.
Woo hoo.
Nothing like not being allowed to see your own boyfriend....or even be a part of his life. So now I'm back to the old routine: where I come over after the kid has gone to bed and when its convenient for everyone else. I've had to do that before to be with him, I suppose I can do it again. While that part still bothers me, I've learned to live with it.
But, there is one thing that I cannot stand that has been happening. Its the fact that I can never get a straight answer about anything out of him. No matter how many times I ask, its something new every time. It drives me nuts. The fact that this is the case tells me that there are probably a lot of things where I'm not getting the whole story. Whatever happened to telling each other everything? I guess this doesn't apply to him, huh?
Can you tell I'm in for a long, lonely summer? I never thought I'd be looking forward to a family vacation so much....