As if Tom's family didn't have enough problems with me already, yet another reason was added to the list this afternoon.
This afternoon, much to my embarassment, I was kicked out of Tom's house by his enraged mother. I'm still numb from the shock....I'm not quite used to being screamed at by someone who wasn't my parent or an angry customer at work. I'm definitely not used to being told that I'm on the verge of not being welcome in someones home.
I'm having an incredibly difficult time dealing with Tom's family. Tom swears that they have nothing against me, but I can't help but wonder if my doubts really are true. He thinks I'm reading too much into things, but am I really? Have they ever made me feel comfortable in their home? No. Have they ever tried to get to know me? Only through spying on me.
I suppose the same could be asked of me...what efforts have I made to get to know them? I've made a few feeble attempts, but I've always been afraid to be persistent in this situation. I can't help but feel like any attempt I make will be in vain. I can't help but think they already dislike me because of the position I put Tom in. Tom gets mad at me for getting upset about his family, since I don't do a whole lot about it. But really...what can I do about it? Tom doesn't do much to help me out. He doesn't stick around to help conversation, instead he runs out of the room, leaving me glued to the wall and his parents' backs turned to me. He does little more than grunt on the rare occassion I do come up in conversation. He knows how important this is to me...I don't understand why he's let it get like this.
The thing that killed me about this was Tom's attitude about it afterwards. He acts as if nothing happened, as if nothing is wrong. He doesn't seem to understand why I have such a huge problem with all of this...is it always going to be like this???