Tom couldn't meet me for lunch this afternoon like we ususally do, so I ended up going out to eat with Jenny from work. I've only been out to lunch with her a few times before, but its been with Tom as well. Anyways, I mention this because our lunch conversation was rather interesting....
Jenny has heard me complain about my situation with Tom. I suppose there are two reasons I feel I can complain to her about the situation; one, because she knows Tom; two, because she feels the same way I do about it, although she probably isn't capable of being nearly as patient as I have been. So, I filled her in on the latest crap thats been going on, between what happened the afternoon I watched the movie with Tom and Robert and all the custody stuff that I've been trying to help out with.
I'm glad I talked with her about it. While I'm still confused as hell about what I should do, I at least feel a little better about things. Its nice to hear someone else sticking up for me and bitching about the things that I should open my mouth and bitch about, but I rarely do to reduce the chances of a fight starting. She's really glad to hear Tom is finally trying to turn things around for himself. She never could figure out why he would leave things like that for so long. I still can't understand it my self.
She was also really pissed when she heard what happened last Thursday. She cannot understand why Tom's mom has so much control over everything Tom does in regards to Robert. Robert is not her son, she should not be acting the way she is, she should not be openly undermining Toms attempts at being a decent parent. Its nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. The moment I say anything about this to Tom, he's so quick to excuse his mothers actions, and I never understand why. I've tried explaining to him that his mother and Faye are the reasons he always feels like crap about being a parent. They're so convinced he's going to fail without giving him so much as a chance, they have him conviced of this as well.
I've been going through hell trying to convince Tom otherwise. I know Tom makes a great father, I don't understand why no one else can see this. Jenny understands the stress I've been going through with all of this, and its nice to hear her say the things I've been thinking, but haven't had anyone else to say it to. She brought up the fact that she couldn't understand why Tom's mom has such a problem with me and with me being around Robert. If anything, it should be a wonderful thing that there is someone out there that cares for and loves Tom as much as I do, who enjoys being around Robert, and desperately wants to be around them.
Like I said, talking to Jenny about this is sort of a simple pleasure for me. I'm able to get certain things off my chest with her that usually creates even more stress and anxiety for Tom and I if I try to talk to him about it. Its really too bad things have to be this way...