I've spent the past two days dealing with this whole wedding thing. After unwillingly getting involved in the wedding, I'm *this* much closer to saying I never want a formal wedding. I know I've said this before, based on how anal I know everyone in my family is. But now I'm saying it because I've seen just how bad it can get, even when neither bride nor groom wants to participate in the festivities.
Tom's friend from middle school got married this afternoon. Seeing as he was one of the best men, I couldn't just send Tom off on his own and say call me when you're done. After all of this, I sort of wish I would have said just that. Instead, I went shopping with Tom to get the gifts, informed Tom that if he planned on giving gifts, he did have to get a card and wrapping paper (I even made him get bows for the presents! hehe)...and to pick up his tux. We only had two things to do really, and it ended up taking us all freaking afternoon.
I some how ended up going to the rehersal and dinner with Tom as well. I just went to be with Tom, not "for the food" as Chi (the bride) claimed I was. For the record, I only ate a bowl of fruit...so that definitely wasn't it. Anyways, I some how ended up being put in charge of music. To make a ridiculously long story short, I was put in charge of hitting play on a broken portable cd player hooked up to the church's sound system. Since I was the only one who knew what was going on with the music who also had access to a working cd player, I had to sit through the entire wedding ceremony in the balcony waiting patiently for my cue to hit play on the damn cd player.
I started feeling absolutely awful at the ceremony, sitting and waiting for someone to tell me what was going on, what I was supposed to do, where I was supposed to go. But I was left in that chair in the hallway of the church for over an hour. I was then dragged downstairs to the reception and again, left sitting on the chair by myself. I had to run to the bathroom three times to keep myself from crying in front of all those people I didn't know. I was left at the wedding, left to drive myself home while choking back tears.
We never even got to take pictures together. By the time he showed up at my house, he was already in some state of undress, uncomfortable in the tux in the heat. I was still in my dress, a dress that actually made me feel pretty, even with my smeared makeup. When will we ever get a picture like that together again? We won't.
I'm a mess again. I shouldn't have come back from vacation. I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't entirely healed yet.