Happy New Year to everyone who reads this!
The following is my recollection of a sad event that happened to me two years ago, New Years Eve....
Two years ago, Tom left me standing in my parents living room, sobbing hysterically. I was so upset by the fact that he couldn't spend New Years Eve with me. I hadn't felt good about the two of us for quite some time, because it had been such a long time at that point since the last time we were actually able to spend some quality time together. After my hysteric breakdown that evening, I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and never come out again. I certainly didn't want to see anyone...
But, I already had plans to go out to a bar to celebrate my friend's birthday, and I didn't want to bail out on her at the last minute. An hour after Tom coldly turned his back on me, my phone rang. It was Sterling. I managed to choke back the tears long enough to answer the phone and ask Sterling to be my New Years Eve date. Another hour went by and I found him standing on my front porch, snow starting to lightly dust his blonde hair and the shoulders of his black wool jacket. He stood in the foyer, fidgeting with his striped scarf while I put on my shoes and coat.
Sterling made me laugh the whole way to the bar. He was amazing the entire night, and he did a great job of helping me feel better after my emotional breakdown earlier in the evening. My friends really seemed to like him too, which is always good. When I introduced everyone, he was so friendly and outgoing, its hard for him not to get along with someone. I remember at one point in the evening, looking up at him and thinking how lucky I was to have him in my life. I mean, here was a guy dancing on barstools with me and my crazy drunk friends on NYE, how awesome is he?
Sterling was my first kiss of 2004. Midnight on New Years wouldn't be complete without two things: a champagne toast and having someone special nearby to kiss. Of course I was going to get my NYE kiss, considering the fact that my date for the evening happened to be the cutest boy in the whole bar....
I'm not quite sure why I still hang on to this memory, but I hang on to it all the same. I'm certainly not ready to let it go any time soon. In a drunken haze this morning, I messaged Sterling, inappropriately reminding him about the above mentioned event. I think one of the reasons I can't seem to let moments like that go is because my life is so incredibly different now from what it was two years ago. And sometimes I wonder to myself, and to Sterling when I'm drunk, I wonder how much happier I'd be now, had I run over more bushes with him... And that's something I'll never know the answer to....