Lately, I can't seem to stop watching the show Judging Amy. The show has been off the air for about a year now I believe, although thanks to TNT and my media center, I can record all the re-runs on tv. To me, there isn't anything overly spectacular about the show and I can't really identify with any of the characters or even some of the messages the writers try to convey throughout the hour long episode. Occassionaly something interesting will happen, something witty will be said, etc. etc. etc. But for the most part, the show is rather unmemorable.
Yet, for some reason unknown to me, I still sit there watching the two-hour chunk of episodes that comes on each day. One episode did stick with me, mainly because of certain issues raised are also prevalent in my situation, so I suppose I can't write it off completely....
The main character, Judge Amy Gray, has moved back into her mothers home with her 6 year old daughter, pending a divorce from her husband. Shortly after Amy and the daughter leave, Michael, the husband/father, introduces his new girlfriend of one month into the picture and has her move into his apartment. Amy is slightly heartbroken at the fact that Michael could move on so quickly, without the divorce even being finalized. For a few episodes, we see Amy grappling with the idea of Michael having a new girlfriend and her daughter being around this woman. The daughter goes on and on and on about what this woman is like, what she looks like, what she does, how she acts around Michael, stuff like that. You can see all this information is starting to wear Amy down, but all she can do is smile and nod, in fear that any other reaction might hurt her daughter.
This situation continues until the girlfriend takes the daughter to do something of which Amy doesn't approve. Initially, Amy takes out her frustration on her daughter, but then catches herself and stops yelling. The daughter then confesses that she never really liked the girlfriend anyways because of whatever reasons, catching Amy off guard. She pauses for a moment, to think about the situation, and explains to her daughter that this woman is probably going to be around for a while, so it might be a good idea to find at least a few good things she likes about the woman. She goes on to say that you can't necessarily help not liking a person, but you should at least try to find somethink good about them that you can like, that way it won't be so difficult to spend time with that person....
Now, I don't usually go looking for similarities in my life to tv shows, but I couldn't help but notice how much I wished my situation with Tom and Robert could have been handled in this manner. For over two years, I have been the girlfriend of a guy with a child. Unfortunately, the mother of this child hasn't been the most rational of people to deal with over the course of my relationship with Tom. I've never crossed any lines as far as Robert was concerned. In all actuality, for a majority of my relationship with Tom, I've stood so far back behind the line, it was as if I wasn't in the picture at all. But, that was mostly my fault, for letting Tom treat me like a doormat and not sticking up for myself, but thats neither here nor there. By not crossing any lines, there was never any need for confrontation, but instead thats what I've had to face the entire time.
I couldn't help but look at this episode and think about how nice and easy and how much less painful the situation would have been for everyone, had Faye decided to use a little common sense when dealing with everything. She had every opportunity to swallow whatever bitter feelings she felt towards me and Tom, and leave it up to Robert to decide whether I was the type of person he wanted to have in his life. Instead, she made her feelings all too clear to everyone, and even inflicted her feelings upon her own son. I can only hope that in time she is able to come to terms with the fact that while Tom is with me, Robert will be around me as well.
While her tantrums seem to have subsided for the moment, her reaction to certain events Tom and I have planned for our life together, that include Robert, scares me greatly. At this point, I understand its too late for her to be a better person by letting Robert form his own opinions of the situation, but I am hoping that eventually she will realize the problems she has caused and will let everyone get on with their lives...