What do you get when two completely miserable people get together?
Two completely miserable people making each other even more miserable than they already were before they even met.
argh.
How stupid was I to think that I could make even the slightest difference in someones life? How stupid was I to think that finding someone that actually knew what it meant when I was "having a bad day" would somehow help me? How completely stupid was I to think that all of this might actually matter to someone else besides myself?
Things never seem to work out the way you want them to, do they? Especially those things you want the most... I absolutely hate doing this but.... I told you so. I know I said it half jokingly, but in the back of my mind, I knew it would be our downfall. Let me ask this question again: What do you get when two completely miserable people get together?
They drag each other down. Rather than being able to help the other get back on their feet (like I so naivly thought would be the case) they drag each other down into the pits of depression and self pity. I knew in the beginning that this sort of arrangement certainly wasn't going to be the easiest in the world to deal with, but I thought that eventually things might actually start looking up for the two of us. I guess not. Each time, each "cycle," we seem to sink further into the wretchedness that is our lives.
So, here I was...thinking I was the strong one, thinking I could handle this. But...I'm not nearly as strong as I thought I was. I was kidding myself to think that I could do this and not get hurt. What was I thinking when I thought I could...
ugh. what was I doing thinking about any of this anyways? When will I learn that thinking about things usually gets me in trouble?
This is what I get....