irritated. so fucking irritated.
been pissed off at the world since friday. i. hate. people. I know why....
but I'm not telling.
when did i stop being able to write complete sentences? think coherent thoughts?
being pushed away...it was bound to happen.
I knew it. fucking knew it.
why did it have to happen? why did I let it happen?
thats what happens when you let your guard down...when you let people into your life; when you let people get close to you. make yourself vulnerable.
weak. so weak.
if i hadn't promised myself I wouldn't be the one to leave in this situation, that I would be the one to make it work, no matter what....I'd be gone. can't do this to myself, shouldn't hurt myself so much. shouldn't have let myself get into this situation again.
it was bad from the start, no matter how good it looked. no matter how good it still looks, its not real. not. fucking. real.
no need to keep telling myself that, Im reminded of it on a daily basis.
fucking irritated, can you tell? ugh.
he talks of happiness. screw happiness. there's no making him happy...
can't even get close enough to try.