I'm starting to remember why I always used to keep myself so busy. With two or three jobs at a time. Taking a full load of classes and working full time on top of it. It leaves very little room for much else.
Lately, it seems as though I have too much time on my hands. While the list of things I should be doing grows longer by the day, I tend to do less and less. After two semesters of running around like crazy, working nearly full time and going to school full time on top of that, I never had a day off. During all that craziness, I often found the time to complain about how I never had a day off and how I could really use a break. Well, now that I only have to work, I get some time off to myself.
The thing is, its too much time spent with only myself. Lets just say I'm not very comfortable with where my mind takes me when I get time alone with myself. The past month has not been a happy month. I'm making myself completely miserable. I can't remember the last time I went on such a horrible streak, all the crying, all the moping, all the sulking. I wander aimlessly around the house, in search of something to do. I've started various cleaning jobs, but those get tiresome quickly. I quickly become bored. I become anxious. Agitated.
What happened to me? I've hit bad spells before, but never like this. Sure, I question a lot of things about myself, but never like this. I'm not usually this critical. This emotional. I've never been so ready to completely give up on absolutely everything. What caused this change? Why do I have to feel this way? How can I change this? I'm tired of being like this.