Here I am, middle of the afternoon, posting an entry. I should be on my way out of class right now, headed to work for the evening.
But, I'm not.
I decided to be stupid last night....and I'm paying for it today.
Four twisteds and three shots of tequila on an empty stomach in about an hour. What do you get? Massive drunkeness. Embarassing conversations. Lots of throwing up. A pounding headache. Even more throwing up. A weak and incredibly abused stomach.
At 11 pm last night, I decided that it would be a good idea to take a trip to Meijers to wander around and purchase myself some alcohol. I had a bad evening and could not stop thinking about it, so I figured alcohol was my answer to get my mind off of it. Oh boy. It got my mind off of it alright. I got stupid drunk and proceeded to have not so intelligent conversations with people online. I look back at those conversations and I cringe at my behavior. I thought I was above all that.
But I guess not.
Around three in the morning (yes, I was still up) I was still online, but barely coherant and sitting at my desk with a bucket in my lap. By 3:30, I was passed out at my desk. Steph had to help me to bed. I had just made it in bed when I had to lean out and puke in the bucket. After that, it was all down hill. I can't remember throwing up that much in a long time. Steph told me later today that she was worried about me because I was throwing up so much. Nice. She took care of me, though...I'm very thankful for that. A cool, wet washcloth on my forehead, a glass of water...and she even tucked me in bed when I started shivering like crazy.
I have a good sister.
I thought I learned the last time I did this that alcohol is not the answer to my problems. It may take my mind off of certain things that I'd rather not think about at a given moment...but it replaces those thoughts with other things. And I'm not so sure the replacements are worth it.
Please, don't ever let me do that again. I'm absolutely miserable right now.