all I wanted to do was to see you, talk to you. Instead, a time when I needed you most, you didn't even call. Didn't even acknowledge something was wrong. Instead, I slept away the pain. Trying not to be conscious for too long, fearing what thoughts I may dwell on.
And here you are, thinking god knows what about me. Thinking i'm giving up. that i've given up long ago. You think i won't call. Because you say I won't, that makes me want to call you even more, just to prove you wrong.
But all I can think of is calling you up and yelling. Yelling at how the night before you couldn't even take me seriously. You couldn't even try to make me feel better. At least not until it was convenient to you.
But I can't do that. I can't. No matter how much I want to, something won't let me. I know you deserve it. but then again you don't. you've been through a lifetime of pain (and then some) and the last thing you need is to deal with me.
But still. This is all I can think of.
Go ahead, hide behind what you will. Hide all you want. i'm tired of stories. tired of excuses. i don't even know what to believe any more. things change so much. so fast. so often with you.
why did it have to be you?