I have been very sick for a while now. Maybe I'm not really sick, because I've been like this almost my whole life, but its never been this bad before.
On a daily basis I wake up unhappy. I go to bed even more unhappy. I barely even sleep any more. Not a day goes by now where I don't end up crying, feeling utterly worthless and helpless. The urge to blacken my eyes, bruise my face, claw at my skin is growing. The urge to just give up completely is becoming stronger.
I can't help but think how completely pointless my life is. Theres no point in me being here. I never make a difference. I never matter. I'm never important. In the past three weeks, I have wished to cease to exist more than I probably have in the past five years combine.
At least if I wasn't here, the pain wouldn't be here either. I wouldn't be lonely anymore, because I wouldn't exist.