Friday was Robert's birthday. I haven't been able to write about it until now because of what a painful experience it was. Its sad, really, that a six year old little boy's birthday would cause so much grief....
Rather than spending the day with his son on his birthday, Tom spent the evening sitting on my deck, crying. Yes, crying. I spent a majority of this supposedly wonderful day consoling Tom. Never before has there been a time where I wished something so terrible upon a person than I did Friday towards Faye.
Why? Because she took Robert away from Tom. Tom was banned from his own son's birthday. Even now, I cannot believe what a selfish act this was on her part. To plan a birthday party without even telling Tom, and prevent him from even seeing his son on his birthday. The whole thing is incredibly messed up and I still can't believe that Tom let her do this to him.
At the beginning of the week, Tom was scheduled to work on Roberts birthday. It eventually worked out so that Tom could have the day off to spend the day with him, and was even hoping to have him spend the night at his house that night. But rather than everyone being happy about this, it seemed to cause nothing but problems. Faye didn't care one bit that Tom had rearranged his schedule to be with his son on his birthday. His family didn't seem to care either, seeing as they continued to keep Robert's birthday party a secret from him. When the time came for Faye to pick Robert up, she flat out told him she didn't want to see him at the kid's party.
The rest of the evening, Tom sat moping around, constantly on the verge of tears, thinking about what a horrible parent he must be since he wasn't even invited to his own son's birthday and everyone kept it a secret from him. I tried my hardest to console him, but how am I supposed to do that? I didn't know the right words to say to take his mind off of the party he was missing. I felt like all my efforts were in vain, trying to not necessarily cheer him up, but at least get him to stop considering completely giving up on everything.
What a horrible position to be put in. This is why I hate being in a relationship like this. I'm always the one left to clean up everyone elses mess, but I don't know how to do this. I can't prevent these things from happening to him, thats his job to keep himself out of these situations. Unfortunately, he never seems to want to take control. He constantly has the attitude that he's doing the best he can and there isn't much else he can do. Obviously if things keep happening like this, something needs to be done. If he loves his son as much as he says he does, Tom needs to do something to make that known. He needs to make it known that stuff like this can't keep happening. I hate seeing other people, her, his family, walk all over him time after time after time. But he keeps letting them. I can only protect him from so much, and I can only take away the pain so much...
What am I supposed to do when the time comes when I can't get him to stop crying, someone has hurt him so much? What am I supposed to do when his situation seems so hopeless, even I begin to lose hope? I don't want that to happen to Tom, because I seem to be the only one he has who doesn't write him off completely as a decent human being. god...i can't believe stuff like this is happening....