Ugh. So, today was the doctors appointment I've been dreading for the past week or so. For about two days now, its almost as if I could feel what the appointment was going to be like. yuck. While the appointment itself was quick, easy, and pretty much painless, there are a few things I left the office with that have been weighing down my mind and can't seem to shake.
When I was taken to my room, the nurse explained the usual "Here's your gown, the opening goes in the back, the doctor will be right in to see you" routine. In addition to this, the nurse hands me a clipboard and asks if I'd mind filling out a questionnaire. She explained they were doing some research and that everything would remain anonymous. She assured me that my answers would not be in any way connected to my files. When she left the room, I dressed myself in the oh so appealing gown and sat down to take a look at the questionnaire. They were, as you might assume seeing as I was in a doctors office, rather personal questions. I answered each and every single question truthfully...the truth looks so strange on paper; cut and dry; black and white.
So there I was, sitting on the examining table confessing my sexual history to the clipboard. At the time, I had other things bothering me...like dreading the sound of the stirrups being pulled out and the feel of icy cold metal touching my warm skin. But after my appointment, on the car ride home, I began analyzing what those numbers I circled on that questionnaire meant to me. Lets just say I'm not so proud of the answers I gave...
During my examination, the doctor asked if I wanted to be 'tested.' Since I have never been tested, I said sure. I was 99% sure I was clean but it never hurts to say you've been tested anyways. But, of course, as my mind works, I started worry about it. What if's flooded my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it. It didn't help matters much when tonight�s episode of Nip/Tuck was all about a particular scare, getting tested, contacting partners, stuff like that. So...I had this thing sort of hanging out there that I was worrying about and couldn't shake....but theres absolutely no reason for me to worry about it. Or is there?? The doctor said 'no news means good news' so I'm hoping I don't get a call from her...
Update...
No call. In the clear. huge *sigh* of relief.