Just when I thought things could start looking up, they get worse. Well, I can't really say things were getting any better between Tom and I, I was just getting a little better and ignoring all the crap that happens and doesn't happen in our relationship. But, certain things I can only ignore for so long.
For the past couple of days, Tom and his family have been dealing with Faye and trying to work around her schedule. Apparently, she is being sent somewhere for training for her job, but thats all anyone knows. No one knows the exact details and its driving me nuts. One day things are this way, the next day things are completely different. And, the plans changed yet again this afternoon.
I am incredibly annoyed at this for a number of reasons. My biggest problem with this situation has to do with the fact that Tom absolutely has to, no matter what, accomodate her schedule and her needs. When Tom can't work around her schedule, his parents have to. Is that ever reciprocated when something comes up with Tom's schedule? Hell no. Once again, its up to Tom and his parents to pick up the slack. The last time Tom went on a business trip, she did nothing to try and help things out, but in fact made things worse by telling Tom he was a horrible father for abandoning his son blah blah blah. When Tom wanted to take a vacation this summer, she did the same exact thing. And so how does this affect me? Well, as the schedule stands now, I won't be seeing Tom for a week straight. That sounds aboslutely wonderful, doesn't it?
Some how, I'm supposed to be happy about this arrangement. I haven't quite figured out how to be happy about it, but Tom is pissed at me because I don't like this situation. When he told me about the latest changes in the schedule, I got upset and started asking questions. He never likes it when I ask him too many questions, especially questions concerning his schedule. He had mentioned something about possibly being able to have next Saturday night off again, provided she's back in town by then. That's supposed to make me happy? The possibility of seeing him on Saturday night? He doesn't even know for sure whether she'll agree to that, and I'm supposed to be thankful that there's even a possibility
I am so tired of living my life based on someone elses schedule. It would be nice to have a normal relationship, that didn't require checking in with three different people before being able to plan an evening out. It would be nice to be able to take a vacation without having to wait for the other person to ask for permission first....I attempted to talk to Tom about some stuff this evening, but it didn't go over very well. After a while, he got tired of talking and just got up and walked away. When I asked him if we were done talking, he said, "We're done talking for now." What the hell? I still had so much I needed to talk to him about...I still have so much stuff I have to figure out.
Things would be so much easier for me right now if I could just pack up and move to Boston, and leave this horrible horrible place behind. Too many bad things have happened to me here, there's no way I could stay here and be able to function like a normal person, with all these bad memories constantly surrounding me. I know running away from my problems aren't going to completely solve them, but it separates me from them for the time being...I've tried separating myself from my problems here and it just doesn't work. They're still there, all around me.