Things haven't improved much from yesterday, not that I expected them to overnight. But, Tom and I attempted to talk some more about the issues that we've been having with our relationship. And by attempt I mean tried to tell each other how we feel without yelling and getting incredibly defensive because of what the other person said. For the most part, I suppose we succeeded in the fact that there wasn't any real yelling like there normally is. Even so, not much was accomplished during out conversation.
The conversation went the way they normally do in this type of situation. Tom accusses me of all this ridiculous stuff that pisses me off to no end. I try to explain to him how I feel and whats going on with me. Unfortunately, because I can't do all that in two sentences or less, Tom falls asleep on me and misses a majority of what I had to say. He wakes up just as I'm repeating my question for the third time and starts babbling about something that has absolutely nothing to do with what I just talked about. I'll sigh heavily and just sit there, hoping eventually he'll get the hint that he is supposed to be talking and responding to what I had to say, but he doesn't. Eventually he'll ask why I'm so quite and my answer is always the same..."Just waiting to hear your respone to everything I just told you." His response? "I don't know what to think about all that..." Ugh...
This afternoons conversation was no exception. When I finally got tired of sitting there hoping he'd say something, I got up to go to the bathroom. I was hoping that he would wake up when I got up and would be ready to continue our conversation when I got back. Instead, he got up and started messing around in the kitchen...making himself something to eat and all that. When he sat down on the futon, he didn't even say anything, just grabbed the remote and turned on the tv.
I am so fed up with this, I really am. I can't talk to him about anything, even when its about us. He just won't listen and when I can get him to listen, he won't talk about anything I've said. Our situation has gotten pretty ridiculous by now. Right now I'm kind of glad he won't be around here for the next four nights, because things always seem to get worse when he's around. It always hurts more when he's right there in front of me and still won't talk about any of the problems and issues we have. Maybe the less time I spend around him, the easier it will be for me to move on...